The Great Key Hunt

In our house the keys have a specific home to enable us to always grab the keys when we need them. The exception to this is when we back the car out of the garage to allow us to get at the lawnmower and look after cutting our lawn. My habit has been to leave the keys on a shelf on the garage until the lawnmower is returned to its rightful place.

Yesterday when I went to retrieve the keys from the shelf they were nowhere to be seen. I asked “the Old Guy” if he had picked them up and he advised me that he had not seen them. That is when the ‘great key hunt’ began. First we checked under the wire shelving and generally looked around the garage. We checked the recycle bins. No keys were found. Next place to check was the car, no keys. Checked under the car.  Returned to the car with the “Old Guy” in the backseat and myself in the front, checking between the driver’s seat and the consul. No keys but we did recover a pen, a missing camera lens cover, container of dental floss, not sure why dental floss was there, and a small cardboard box.

From the car we moved into the house and checked all the rooms. No Keys! We then walked the yard thinking the keys may have been in my pocket or on the mower and dropped somewhere along the path the mower took. No Keys! Checked under the shrubbery thinking they may have dropped from the a fore mentioned pockets or mower. No Keys! At this point “the Old Guy” made me stand still while he patted me down, just like when I go through security at the airport and trigger the alarm with my artificial hip. I told him I had already checked my pockets.  No Keys!

Returning to the garage I remembered that I had been eating a nectarine and perhaps I had tossed away the pit and keys together. I held my nose and emptied out all the garbage. No Keys! “The Old Guy” went in the house and did the same with the kitchen garbage. No Keys!

Two hours had passed and we were both frustrated. Replacing car keys is no longer as easy as going to the hardware store and having a copy made. Key fobs are fancy and costly to replace. I decided to clear my mind and wash the car; after all it was still on the driveway. I let my mind wander trying to remember the exact steps I took after parking the car; but no epiphany.

After washing the car I once again walked the lawn and basically retraced all the previous places. I asked my neighbour to watch along the property line as she was cutting her lawn. By this time we were both tired, hot,  totally frustrated and resigned to accept the keys were lost.

I retreated into the air-conditioning and stretched out in the recliner. In need of a tissue I reached into my pocket. Being sweaty the tissue was wet and I pulled out a small piece about the size of a quarter. I reached again and was rewarded with another small piece. Not to be denied a tissue I pushed further into the pocket and realized that the pocket widened at the bottom and I was able to clutch the whole tissue. But wait, what was that sharp object in the nether regions of the pocket? I looked at over at “the Old Guy” and said “oh my god”. “No, don’t tell me” he said. I tugged on the sharp object and there they were. The keys ! I can’t believe that after two checks of the pockets they did not yield this hiding place. This pocket is obviously a great place to secure things but only if you remember putting something there.

I told my neighbour the keys had been located and where. Her chuckling response was “I think you just had a seniors moment”.


Pothole Grapes

I have written before about the length of time it takes me to shop for groceries due to the time spent visiting with various folks throughout the store. I have shared my recent experience with friends and decided that it would be great to write a blog post about.

Three different friends stopped to chat with me last week. After picking up the essentials I made my way through the cash and walked out to the parking lot. This is where things got interesting. I had spent so much time in the store that I had forgotten the carefully noted landmark as to the place my car was parked. As I walked between two vehicles in the general direction; I hoped of my car; another driver decided to drive into the parking spot I was walking through. Trying not to impede this lady I pulled to the side of the space and hit a pothole with the grocery cart. I pulled hard on the cart to avoid hitting the car parked to my right. This sudden jolt caused one of my bags of groceries to take a header off the cart and spilled my carefully selected food into the pothole. Frustrated I began to re-pack my groceries while the driver waited, I hope patiently; oh who cares, for me to get out of her desired parking spot. My grapes had spilled out of their bag and some had to be discarded, the balance would need an extra wash at home. Once I moved she rolled down her window and told me that she was going to warn me that my grocery bag was in danger of falling but was afraid that I would feel rushed. Really……..

I was still looking for my car and decided to resort to pulling out my keys and beeping my car. Lo and behold my keys were not in my pocket nor in my purse. No car,no keys but I had my cell phone; however I was not ready to call the ‘old guy’to admit that I had lost not only my keys but also my car.

Finally I saw my car and hurried over thinking I might see the keys inside and still have to call for a spare set of keys to arrive but at least I knew where the car was at this point. Once more I searched my pockets; where I normally put them when shopping, and then took everything out of my purse and still no keys. Then a memory flashed through my head and I remembered beeping the car when going into the store to confirm I had locked it. Now, knowing that I had the keys outside of the car I stopped to think and had a light bulb moment. I reached down into my spare grocery bags and there they were waiting to be retrieved; like some wonderful treasure.  I never put my keys there but for some strange reason that is what happened. I loaded up my groceries, started the car and drove home. No way was I taking a chance on another brain fart moment.

After telling my friend about this experience I offered her a few of my ‘pothole’ grapes and for some reason she declined. No sense of adventure I guess.